Do you know what is really energy-draining? When you are just starting to like someone. Yes, LIKE them like them. It pulls in a lot of your attention, taking a lot of focus away from some very important things (like schoolwork). It meddles with your priorities, to the point where you get excited about certain things because they have to do with him, and suddenly you're not even sure what your motivation is for doing things anymore. And for people like me, who can be a little intense about things, these symptoms get pretty bad.
I am aware that starting to like someone can cause these problems, which was why I was kinda glad that I didn't have any MAJOR crushes starting this semester. But of course, I can't avoid falling for someone, it's one of my tragic flaws.
I'm really frustrated about it because it's like, the fourth time it's happened within the last month and a half. There was bowling guy, there was Hank Green look-alike, there was another one that was just starting about a week ago, and now, there's this one. And I can tell from the start what kind of "crush" it's gonna be from the start. Bowling guy, I talk to, but it's not a real intense like-age, I just think he's uber attractive. Hank Green look-alike, well it really started because he looked like Hank Green, and that was a really intense far distance like-age, not really bound to go anywhere, but I was hoping to try and take it somewhere, ya know, at least meet him. But this one...it's different.
UGGGHHH, I already have so much going on, I don't have room in my brain for liking someone, especially someone who I am actually kinda friends with who I see on a bi-weekly basis, who my friends actually KNOW, who I hung out with a LOT this weekend.
It's funny, I complain so much, but that feeling, as badly timed as it may be, well it's not all bad.
Isn't it kinda scary how you fall for people? I mean this guy, I had met him, didn't really think much of him, ya know, he seems nice, he's not particularly attractive, but I mean, he's not bad. But all of a sudden, I don't even remember when, but all of a sudden I liked him, and it totally took me by surprise. Sheesh!
What really scares me about it is, with the "others" of the semester, I liked them all simultaneously, in varying degrees depending on who I was around. But now, now it's just him. I've immediately forgotten about the others. Not forgotten, but I just, I don't care anymore. It's gonna be one of those. Another "I can't see any other guys around me because they are not him" kinda thing. Oh well. Maybe I'll pursue him. I think it's worth it. He's a really nice guy. Example: me and my friend were really cold when we were all outside (even though we had coats on) and he took his jacket off and offered it to us, and tried to drape it around us. And he was only wearing a T-shirt! I told him we were fine, we were just complaining, and that he would freeze to death (and then he rubbed snow on his stomach to prove me wrong, of course). Idk, he's just, I don't even know...
Anyways, I can't tell anyone because they know him, and it's just too weird, because we're all so close, so me liking one of them would make it awkward. I dee kay...
Anywho, it's been swell, and I love you a whole heck of a lot!!
LAAAAHHHHVVV!!!
