I've had enough

Right now, I'm avoiding writing an essay because I really am not ready to write it.  Problem?  It's due tomorrow in class at 8:40 am.  Not so bad, right?  Pull through, write in little chunks, plan it out a bit, revise as I go, and BAM, a fairly decent essay finished by 3 am at the latest.  

But, as always, it's not that simple...

Tomorrow night at 7:30 pm, I have a Chemistry exam, one which I am not prepared for.  Okay, no big D, my classes are done by 11, just head over to the library to study for a few hours, bring a book to allow a little break (ya know, so I don't go insane) and BAM, fairly decent preparedness for my exam.

But once again, not that simple...

Tomorrow, I'm supposed to meet with my tutor for Math to go over this week's lessons and homework.  Only problem?  I haven't even looked at the homework yet because my weekend was dedicated to working on my Chemistry homework, and reading for my writing seminar. 

So basically, I'm stressed out, and today didn't make it any better.  I was up until 3:30 am working on my Chem homework that was due today, had to get up early to finish it, and then worked frantically between lecture and lab to finish the assignments I had to turn in at lab, which lasted a whole heck of a lot longer that I would have liked.  

Then, to give myself a little break, I took a bit of a nap at 5-ish, so I would be ready to work on my essay. BUT it lasted longer than it was supposed to, and I only had time to revise my already written thesis statement before a rehearsal tonight.

So basically, I'm pissed off, tired, and working towards things I don't even want.  I have no time to work on my videos, no time to do any of he things I have planned, I don't even have time to read freaking Harry Potter!!! And now, I'm having doubts about transferring out of Engineering.  This scares me a lot because I KNOW I can't deal with another semester on Engineering, it's a nightmare.  UGGGHHHHH! And I didn't turn in the application for Europe, because I didn't have time to fill it out, so that's not happening.  I just don't even know what to think right now, I seriously wish I had a different life right now.

I'm just being pessimistic.  Once tomorrow is over, I'll be a bit more relaxed...I think.  My Aunt Care and cousin Rheanna are coming on Saturday, so that's something to look forward to!!!  And I've lost 12 pounds, so that's a nice, reassuring things going on.

I don't know, if you find yourself in a similar situation as me at some point, let me know.  We can talk about it.

Anyways, I love you, and despite my anxiety and frustration, I'm still loving it here and maintaining my upbeat attitude. 

It's been swell!! Come again soon!