Back to school or something

I have two days left here at home, and then I'll be heading back to Cornell for another semester of doom...I mean, engineering.  I'm having issues deciding what I want to study, but I think I've found a potential major.  I am seriously thinking about majoring in film.  I mean, film has always been a significant part of my life, as my father is a huge film guy.  For many years he had his own video business and worked part time at a small, local movie theater before eventually purchasing the theater.  That's the one I mentioned in my last blog (obviously.  I mean, one man can't own two theaters...can he?)

I basically grew up in front of a camera, and when I came of a fairly responsible age (10) I received a camcorder for my birthday, and have since had a strange fascination with recording and editing video.

Now, in order to succeed in engineering, you have to really want it, because it is rough.  But from the start, I knew that it wasn't really what I wanted.  Cornell has 7 separate colleges, and when applying, you are allowed to apply to 2 if you so choose.  I had applied to arts & sciences because my plan was originally to study music, and then it changed to math, and then I was rather undecided, but Cornell said they recommended I apply to engineering as well, based on my application.  So, that's the one I got into, and that's the one I'm dying to get out of.

I had an open mind going in, because I've always loved math and physics, and that's reason enough that I'll enjoy engineering, right? WRONG!!  It was rough, and while I did make it through without failing, I received the lowest grades I've ever received...ever.  The grades were understandable, since college is a heck of a lot different than high school, but the whole semester was a struggle because I had to work my butt off for something I really didn't want.

Thus, I have been stressing out lately over what it is I DO want to study.  Physics is still an option, because I actually loved my physics class last semester (despite my B-) and my mother brought up psychology as a possibility, which I thought would be a very interesting field of study.  But lately, I've been leaning towards the film option, because it seems the most like something I wouldn't mind working hard for.

If you asked me what I wanted to do in the future, I would say acting.  Although I haven't had much experience with acting, when I am given the opportunity, I love it.  But I just feel like that's not a possibility, and so I have to pour myself into something I'm half-hearted about.  Oh well, we'll see.  All I can do right now is do my best in the classes I'm taking, find a job and make some money, and pray that God will help me in my decision making and make things clearer to me.

It's been lovely!!